Saturday, November 04, 2006

One Week Until the Opening


This will be an extended post starting at 3:05 this aft.
Woke up at 7:15 after another completely surreal nicotine patch dream, honestly if smoking just isn't enough for you anymore - go on the patch and really sort out your subconscious. I immediately fired up the typex and emailed the whole dream to JP, I am thinking of turning it into a short comic or graphic novel for others to read, if I'm on the patch for another seven or eight weeks I should have at least a year's worth of material to sort through.

This has been the hardest day so far, Eight days without Alchohol, Seven days without caffeine, Day Four on the patch and that whole Garlic thing. I'm not tempted by alcohol or coffee right now but I really want to smoke about seven cigarettes in a row and then vomit. My emotions are running up and around the room, especialy anger and I thought that with all this cleaning out, I would have that one licked, apparently this anger I've been feeling for the past couple of months is here to stay for awhile.

Some people think that I'm going a little hardcore with this cleansing (thank you for the support, keep it coming) but if you consider what I've been doing to my body since I was fifteen years old, I think a little of that "tough love" is necessary to effect real change both in my metabolism and my behaviours, which are, of course, linked, unless you subscribe to Descartes and I do not. Also I don't want to back slide or slip up, everything I read says I'm allowed to, but if I allow that-- well I'm just not going to. Discipline, for a time, is to be admired, I have to keep this up for at least a month for anything to really happen inside my body and for new routines to establish themselves.

The jogging thing won't start until at least the 2oth once the show is up at the Cameron and my body is more adjusted to it's new routine. Back soon, Supper Time

9:20
Three failed attempts at three new paintings - the closer I get to this particular showing the more agitated I'm becoming, this one is personal, the others were more commercial, we'll see

Lost Houses, The Cameron House Opening Reception Sat. Nov.11th 4-6 Band 6-8
madcraftshoppe@hotmail.com

Best to all,
A.S Hahn






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