Sunday, December 31, 2006

the year in review



2006 The Year In Review mad craft style
Best Film - Lady Vengeance, three movies for the price of one really, a third act twist that has to be seen to be seen to be believed, humourous touches throughout, a stunning film experience, no doubt soon to be remade and destroyed by Hollywood with Renee Z., Nicole K. Charlize T. and some other Yutz fighting for the part when it should really be left alone to be what it is.

Honourable Mentions, The Departed (which I haven't seen but no one will shut up about so it's probably pretty good), Thank You For Smoking (except for that creepy kid whose in every movie these days)

Biggest Let Downs Talladega Nights (not as good as Anchorman, not even by half) Any of the " New Noirs" Black Dahlia or Hollywoodland (relationship destroying films)

Best Music (Songs) The Cold War Kids -St.John, Okkervil River- Another Radio Song and For Real, Be Good Tanyas- One Thousand Tiny Pieces, Gnarls Barkley -Crazy (why not) , The Coup-Laugh/Love/Fuck , TV on the Radio -Wolf Like Me, Cadence Weapon-30 Seconds, Jon Rae and The River-Nothing To Do

Best Album- Cat Power the Greatest - The Title says it all, not a weak track on the record and that seems almost impossible for most artists to achieve these days. This is dinner with a woman, a glass of wine with friends, time spent alone. A wicked achievement, if I had a five disc changer, I'd put five copies of this album in it (two purchased, three copied). Well done Chan Marshall!

Honourable Mentions - Rock Plaza Central- Are We Not Horses - This has everything, it's a gypsy, folk, rock, cornucopia kitchen sink concept albumwith hand claps and a children's choir, how you follow this up is beyond me - most would release a shitty Trip Hop Record so let's pray that they don't. Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat- Fantastic, with the exception of "Handle With Care" cover that people seem to love, but I think is weak, this is the album Amy Millan wanted to release instead of.... (segueway!)

Biggest Let Down- Amy Millan- Honey From the Tombs- I love women singing hurtin and drinking songs , but this misses the mark and before you bite my ears off Tyson Style let me state that I am a fan of Stars - more songs like"Celebration Guns" and less songs like most of this album.

NEXT SHIT- Cold War Kids- Keep your ears out, "Robbers and Cowards" was an outstanding album in 2006. Corin Raymond - Hardest working man in Toronto, from promoting great bands from Winnipeg to touring all over, great work Corin, let's hear that new record already! Johnny Marr has joined Modest Mouse!

TRENDS (Limited to Three per Category)

Biggest Trends of 2006 - Babies!- These little things were everywhere in 2006 and I think it's great, not those overpriced celebrity babies, I'm talking about good old fashioned middle class babies. Avocadoes- These things were (also) everywhere in 2006 from album covers, to posters and home decor - well done avocadoes! We didn't know how much we loved you until 2006 You Tube- Who the Heck watches TV anymore ? Go away TV we've had enough, we'll make our own.

Biggest Trends that Should Go Away - Goose Down Vests- This isn't Aspen people buy a proper coat already. TShirts With Shit All Over Them- These things just make people dizzy when they try to talk to you so take em off, most of them look like a plate of baby vomit with a bad skull tattoo stuck on top and an eagle wing sticking out of the side. Coffee - Useless, just plain useless, don't drink it for two weeks and feel how much energy your body actually has inside of it and you'll also be at least Forty Dollars richer I have to tell you folks that you are stuck in a vicious cycle (I'm gonna get hated on for that one).

Trends for 2007- Buying Canadian- Let's all get more involved in our local economy from produce, to artisans, to recording artists, we have to get behind this. Also the homeless of Toronto deserve some of our time, we've sent alot of dough overseas for charity, let's take a good long look in our own backyard. Electing the Pizza Oven at Dufferin Grove Park to City Council- It's obvious that local politics could use an actual inanimate object in a place of power, we've had enough pretenders. Art Galleries- These things deserve to be the avocadoes of 2007 - think of the fun we could have if there were more than three people in one of these things at a time!

(Sneaking in Under the Wire - Hot Chocolate ! Go drink some tomorrow it's 2007!)

Man of the Year- Dictators ! These guys really kept us on our toes in 2006, so much on our toes that we couldn't deal with the possibility of more war and hurt so we stupidly gave our time and attention to Jen and Vince, Angelina and Brad, Tom and Katie, Brit and all that shit instead of trying to deal with Kim Jong Il, to that Iranian Guy whose name is too messed up to write, to all those shit heads with children's armies in Africa, Rumsfeld (A Dictator who steps down!) . The Dictators really let themselves be known this year but we were watching E!talk instead.

Honourable Mention- My Dad, Warren Buffet, Sam Ferrara,

Woman of the Year- Pregnant Women !- From eating Activia and dancing in a park together, to driving me to a Wedding, to being on the cover of every magazine every month Pregant Women really represented in 2006! And not only that but then in 2007, a baby comes out! Pregnant women are like a living Kinder Egg, beautiful outside and a toy inside!

Honourable Mention- My Mom, Constance Rooke, The singer from the Pussycat Dolls (That would be amazing if in 2007 she became some kind of pregnant Dictator.)

Best Book- I didn't read a book that was published in 2006 this year, so I can't add to this list, most things I read were published in the 50's and earlier so they don't apply.

Best Sports - Catching more than half of the World Cup Games, the World Cup Kills. Zidane stood up and said, "Enough out of you" I think we all learned something there.

Quite a year, this post will be expanded soon.